Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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