No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Ladies don't puke and tell
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
