We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
