Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
