Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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