just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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