Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
