Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
