I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
