i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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