You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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