Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
