You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
