I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
