ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
