In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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