Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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