It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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