Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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