So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
