she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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