hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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