I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
