that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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