My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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