I can tuck mytits in my pants
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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