Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
