May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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