kristin has been a bad kristin
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
