Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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