Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize