hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
