i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
