I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
