This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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