I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
