Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
