Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
