But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
