i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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