I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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