Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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