he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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