Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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