we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
