Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
