This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
