Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
