He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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