Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
