So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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