i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
