We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
