Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
