Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Houston, we have a blender
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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