I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
