Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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