She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
