I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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