Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize