I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
