Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
