david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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