my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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