How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
